Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Snow go!

Snow go in our house again today. After 2 days off I will be glad to get back, love the routine me! Had to share this pic, this is hubby and Ellie may building a snowman and me throwing a snowball at them and managing to catch the moment of terror as it approaches hubby! Don't worry it didn't hit him in the chops! Wouldn't be fair to throw snowballs at a blind guy you say, I say rugby tackling is not fair - even if you get a soft landing!
Anyway I have been thinking tonight, I went into college today and seeing everyone working got to me, as I am NOT! Then i went blog surfing and saw a mostamazing bit of work. Arlee does such amazing things, and all the while I am reading her post I am thinking, why, oh why am i not working in the same way as she. Why am I still fiddling about with piffling bits of nonsense instead of working through inspiration properly. It isn't as though I don't have ideas, I have loads perculating, but so far I don't seem to be able to get it out. I wonder if it is fear, I seem to be able to sit at the machine for hours and produce piffle, hearts, swaps, etc, not that I don't love all that but if i want to be taken seriously, and I think I do I need to go back to where I was, sampling, playing, working though stuff. So what do I do...........
Well I made a list. I have a project to work on. Just before my college course dissolved we were set a brief to work on making window screens for want of a better description, so I am taking my armour project into that, but why can't I get started?
I want this to be a positive year so i am going to beat this. I have been really thinking about what I want, I want to be producing amazing things. i have been reading a lot of Susan Lenz blog too and how her work is impacting my want to be a real artist, ironic I feel I want to be more like her and she wants my piece of paper ( I have a BA in Ceramic design you see) but I worked out that after uni I made a series of decisions that meant i wouldn't have to find out if I was a real artist or not. Teaching was a big part of dodging the reality of being an artist. Not that i don't love it, or even that i want to quit, but I want to exhibit, I want a body of work, that is respected. So really I know what I have to do, I have to get in front of the machine and I have to make myself work through the process. Thanks for letting me ramble and get it off my chest. Love carol t

8 comments:

Jackie said...

I know how she feels..I want th epiece of paper too but know I will nver get it now. I have C&G but no degree.
I also know how you feel..wanting to work through ideas.But I never seem to have the time.
We'll just have to struggle on, each in our own ways!

Judy Scott said...

you have to go for it ~ clear the decks of everything else, get your machine going, sketchbook etc and work through the processes you know work! You can do it Carol ~ Judy xxx

almost forgot; that photo is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! :)

Doreen G said...

OK so now you know where you want to go and what you want to do.
I know you can do it and so do you--you have the ability to achieve whatever you decide to do-think positive my friend and get cracking.
I sound like your Aussie Mum again don't I?)

Nellie's Needles said...

Time ... there's a time for everything! You're a mother to young ones, you're a teacher, you're a wife. There are only so many hours in a day and many of yours are already claimed. TIME ... what you truly want will eventually get its share of that limited and precious comodity ... TIME.

Anne said...

Hi, Carol! Love the fun in the snow picture! Great capture of an action shot!! :-)

arlee said...

Carol, you *know* what i think of you---just keep plugging away as you can. It will come--we all started somewhere and the path leads round and round sometimes. Chin up, Blossom!

Julie said...

Here here to what's been said and I love your photo of Ellie and your DH.

Cathy W said...

Carol, your angst over what-you-want and where-you-are and how-are-you-going-to-get to the-there-you-want-to-be at ... all well spoken & matches the muddle that I ponder over here in my home. But I am without any C&G options nor have I an Art degree -- I just dabble along & try to do what I can -- and truly try to keep up with you! I think you're great even as I witness your journey this year to get re-focused and self-motivated. Hang in there my friend (& keep up with the hearts -- it's filler while you think through deeper stuff). Love the photo too! & last of all, I wish we had a bit of snow ...