Snow go in our house again today. After 2 days off I will be glad to get back, love the routine me! Had to share this pic, this is hubby and Ellie may building a snowman and me throwing a snowball at them and managing to catch the moment of terror as it approaches hubby! Don't worry it didn't hit him in the chops! Wouldn't be fair to throw snowballs at a blind guy you say, I say rugby tackling is not fair - even if you get a soft landing!
Anyway I have been thinking tonight, I went into college today and seeing everyone working got to me, as I am NOT! Then i went blog surfing and saw a mostamazing bit of work. Arlee does such amazing things, and all the while I am reading her post I am thinking, why, oh why am i not working in the same way as she. Why am I still fiddling about with piffling bits of nonsense instead of working through inspiration properly. It isn't as though I don't have ideas, I have loads perculating, but so far I don't seem to be able to get it out. I wonder if it is fear, I seem to be able to sit at the machine for hours and produce piffle, hearts, swaps, etc, not that I don't love all that but if i want to be taken seriously, and I think I do I need to go back to where I was, sampling, playing, working though stuff. So what do I do...........
Well I made a list. I have a project to work on. Just before my college course dissolved we were set a brief to work on making window screens for want of a better description, so I am taking my armour project into that, but why can't I get started?
I want this to be a positive year so i am going to beat this. I have been really thinking about what I want, I want to be producing amazing things. i have been reading a lot of Susan Lenz blog too and how her work is impacting my want to be a real artist, ironic I feel I want to be more like her and she wants my piece of paper ( I have a BA in Ceramic design you see) but I worked out that after uni I made a series of decisions that meant i wouldn't have to find out if I was a real artist or not. Teaching was a big part of dodging the reality of being an artist. Not that i don't love it, or even that i want to quit, but I want to exhibit, I want a body of work, that is respected. So really I know what I have to do, I have to get in front of the machine and I have to make myself work through the process. Thanks for letting me ramble and get it off my chest. Love carol t