Thursday, January 22, 2009

Lost

Well today I am lost. I found out this week my evel 4 C+G in Stitched Textiles course has folded. I went in tonight to say goodbye and found myself in tears in the carpark as I don't know what now? I have no direction, and I am afraid I will just stop, make no more, not sample, not trial, not draw. I hope not, I want to keep going, but it was as if when the course was going I was getting closer to my goal of being a textile artist. I must make myself go on, and looking for the positive I suppose I am free to deveop the work I want, at the pace of my muse rather than by assessment date. I just hope I am up to it, disciplined enough? Sorry for the ramble/rant but have to let it out somewhere, and none of my family get it, they just see it as free time!

18 comments:

Summerset said...

That's too bad! I can understand that lost feeling - no real direction to go in, either. I look at it this way - you are a textile artist. Just because you are not able to take this one class doesn't disqualify you from the title in my mind. You've done some interesting and fabulous pieces. Just get into the studio, experiment, read magazines, blogs and books to keep you fresh and keep going!

Doreen G said...

I agree with the above comment Carol.
Just look at as though you are no longer a teenager and you have let go the apron strings and are about to venture into the big wide world.
Take a few deep breaths and go forward my friend --you can do it.

Cathy W said...

Carol,

You ARE a Textile Artist and You Will continue to grow and to experiment and to create art. How do I know this? Because it is in your blood, it is your dream, and it is your life (along with being a wife, mom & teacher too!) Whenever you need reminding, you do not have far to go as you have a huge community of friends and fellow artists just moments away, here on the internet. Perhaps your guide & direction has just been joggled onto a different path, and that's OK. And it's OK if you need to get recentered before you jump in again. How about making a puffy heart or two for starters? Just remember this: You ARE a Textile Artist. I know it. and you do too, right?

Hugs from across the oceans and through the internet wires & waves,

truly, Cathy, your Texan friend & fellow Textile Artist

Pat said...

What a nasty shock and I am sorry you feel lost at the moment but I am sure you will find your own direction after all think of the great artists who didn't need a "piece of paper" to make them great. It came from within.

Genie said...

Sorry about your course carol
but i agree with the others,
you have a natural talent,
so go for it girl!!

Judy Scott said...

Oh my darling girl ~ first things first ~ YOU are a Textile Artist!!!! Yes Im pointing at you Carol. This is just a blip and you will follow your dream as Cathy W says its in your blood ~ we dont need a piece of paper to say what we are its whats inside us and what we're happy with ~ keep your goal in mind and just think how much more free youll feel ~ C and G can be very restricting. Anyway remember on C and G you have to do all your own work anyway ~ youre not taught, so you can, if you want to carry on with the studying and investigation and developement. Dont be down just remember everything you've done this far. Sending a big hug to you from up here in Scotland ~ lots of love Judy ((((xxxxx))))

ANNA said...

Oh Carol
I soooooo know how you feel!! Join the no more C&G club!!! However you must remember YOU ARE A TEXTILE ARTIST - you could not have got on so well with C&G if you were not already an ARTIST!!!!

DO keep going - I know its hard!!

Susan D said...

All I can add is that I agree with everything that has already been said. You've got a lot more in you so DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

Sandy said...

I seem to need the structure of a class to keep going too, but some of my best work comes unexpectedly from just following my own ideas and experimenting. You are a fiber artist and can do it. Do it to show us.

Alis said...

Oh Carol, I am really sorry about your course. It is really horrible to feel at a loss like you do know.
But you do have the strength to work through it, and you are a wonderful textile artist. We don't need to see a piece of paper to know that. Now all you have to do is believe us ;0)

hippopip said...

I am so sorry to hear about the class folding,but as all the others have said we know you can do it ,so give it your best.

Julie said...

It has all been said already Carol but I so much want to say that you ARE an artist, no question. Also, look at what you said in your last post about positive strides. Two years ago I had to stop my art lessons and thought I would never have the drive to carry on on my own but I have travelled a wonderful road since then and learnt so much. The world has opened up in lots of ways. You'll get there too and you'll have the freedom to choose. You go girl! and you can rant anytime! :o)

Carol said...

Carol I am sorry to hear about your class folding and it sounds like you did not have any warning.Is it possible for your group to carry on meeting regardless? This is what often happens to C&G groups when they finnish because they have spent so long working together they don't want it to end.It may soften the blow for you all.You will get through it and as it has already been said you are a Textile Artist and you are also a teacher passing your skills on to the next generation,in a very inspiring way, something to be very proud of

Julie Stenning said...

Carol,

I'm sorry to hear that the course has folded. That is rotten when you have done so many years. However, you will have learned enough already to do things on your own. It is true, it is easier when something is structured, but you were always going to have to go it alone any way, this is just a bit sooner than expected.

Julie

Tiggy Rawling said...

It has all been said. However, there is life beyond C&G, and we have to break out somewhere. Focus on what you want to achieve, follow your dream. make it happen. You are well on the way. You can do it, it just takes commitment. Perhaps you could meet up with your fellow students once in a while - cake, coffee and a chat is probably worth more that a month struggling with C&G projects - some of which you really do not need to do! I wish you well, just keep at it. You are a big girl now! Welcome to the real world.

Papoosue said...

Oh, I just read this Carol :-( But try and stay positive. You are already a textile artist, and although I understand the need for confirmation of it by way of a certificate or qualification, remember that a lot of textile artist are wholly self taught. A C&G alone couldn't make you a textile artist anyway - you are so talented Carol and it definitely comes from within YOU - your work is brilliant and so inspiring to so many people. Bit of a ramble, sorry, but just hang on in there and you'll get where you want to be. I have total faith :-))))) xxxx

English Rose said...

...what they said Carol. it wasn't what you expected right now, but it was going to happen eventually - out there without the C&G safety net. freedom can be a bit scary, but that doesn't make it a bad thing. you CAN do it for yourself, you just have to believe you can do it for yourself.

Gail P said...

Just catching up with you blog. Sorry to hear that the class you loved has folded, but as everyone has said, you'll be okay!!! I often make up my own courses/workshops to give me a purpose. After all, no one is breaking down my door to make me famous! Just follow the "what if" path and you'll find your way. Hugs!!!!